Out of deeply ingrained social etiquette, I asked how weird landlord was doing today. Got a perfunctory ‘fine thank you’ which I was more than happy to depart with. Then he asked me how I was doing. I said “I think I’m getting a cold. Woke up with a sore throat today.” To which weird landlord gleefully replies, “Oh yes! I heard you sneeze a few days ago after you got of your car and had just closed your car door and I thought to myself ‘I wonder if Monique is getting a cold.’”
The thing is, I haven’t seen weird landlord in a couple of weeks, until today.
I know he keeps notes n’ stuff (‘Dear doorstop diary’ is a fine example) and he’s obviously a fan of signs. I’m now starting to wonder if there’s some other kind of a diary or stardate log.
September 13, 2010 @ 3:45pm – Monique backed her Jeep into her assigned parking stall approximately 3.2 millimeters away from the preferred parking position (add to her permanent record). She sneezed once. I wonder if she’s getting a cold or a flu mayhap. I can check her discarded Kleenex I suppose but maybe I should just resume monitoring her garbage and recycling again to make sure she’s getting enough nutrients in her diet. I smell toast.
This site makes any lapses in witnessing his weirdness bittersweet because of my constant longing for something really juicily weird to share with all of you. Bittersweet until the moment I speak to him again and my skin begins to crawl, like today for example!
What the hell is wrong with me? I know better than to engage weird landlord in conversation. Better lay off the Neo Citran.
Tags: bittersweet, cate blanchett, cold, common cold, creep, dame judi dench, dear diary, dear doorstop diary, diary, dumpster diver, flu, garbage, getting sick, glee, gleefully, influenza, jeep, landlord, my weird landlord, myweirdlandlord.com, neo citran, normal doesn't live here, notes on a scandal, notes on a sneeze, nutrients, perfunctory, permanent record, recycler, recycling, should not operate motor vehicles, signs, sore throat, stardate log, weird, weird landlord
Monique Hurteau
