Notes on a sneeze

Out of deeply ingrained social etiquette, I asked how weird landlord was doing today.  Got a perfunctory ‘fine thank you’ which I was more than happy to depart with. Then he asked me how I was doing. I said “I think I’m getting a cold. Woke up with a sore throat today.” To which weird landlord gleefully replies, “Oh yes! I heard you sneeze a few days ago after you got of your car and had just closed your car door and I thought to myself ‘I wonder if Monique is getting a cold.’”

The thing is, I haven’t seen weird landlord in a couple of weeks, until today.

I know he keeps notes n’ stuff (‘Dear doorstop diary’ is a fine example) and he’s obviously a fan of signs. I’m now starting to wonder if there’s some other kind of a diary or stardate log.

September 13, 2010 @ 3:45pm – Monique backed her Jeep into her assigned parking stall approximately 3.2 millimeters away from the preferred parking position (add to her permanent record).  She sneezed once. I wonder if she’s getting a cold or a flu mayhap. I can check her discarded Kleenex I suppose but maybe I should just resume monitoring her garbage and recycling again to make sure she’s getting enough nutrients in her diet. I smell toast.

This site makes any lapses in witnessing his weirdness bittersweet because of my constant longing for something really juicily weird to share with all of you. Bittersweet until the moment I speak to him again and my skin begins to crawl, like today for example!

What the hell is wrong with me? I know better than to engage weird landlord in conversation. Better lay off the Neo Citran.

Beware all ye who enter here

A weird landlord doth creepeth about. I think a tenant put this sign up to make sure Mackenzie Manor visitors know what they’re getting themselves into.

Don’t be too alarmed but we will need you to sign a waiver.

Mackenzie Manor Muzak

If you hadn’t already guessed, this is my building’s official theme song.

Signs, signs, everywhere there’s signs
Blockin’ up the scenery, breakin’ my mind
Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign?

Actually, weird landlord should really consider piping in a Muzak version of this song playing on a continuous loop. I bet he hears something like it in his head. (along with “he wants you too Malachi, he wants you too”)

Signs schmigns, they’re for whimsy!

Had a scheduled power outage for our building yesterday (found out while working on on my computer on an important project!).

Apparently, as informed by the man I spoke to working up on the power pole, we should have been informed prior. Oh, really? Hmmm.

No &%$#* sign. (why I oughta) Yes, let’s save a plethora of signs for arbitrary and imaginary things but NEVER for something legitimate like a scheduled power outage.

Thanks weird landlord!